i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
