I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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