i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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