A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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