kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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