8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize