Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
