Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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