I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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