Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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