At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
