I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
