physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
