Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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