he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
