I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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