walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
