Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize