Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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