i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Farmville is her only friend.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
