my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
