That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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