You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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