First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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