Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
