can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
