I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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