I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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