this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
