I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
