Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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