left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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