The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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