Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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