Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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