Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You took a bar mat shot.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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