My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
