my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
