So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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