I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
