I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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