ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, beer. Big fan.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
