Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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