Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
