found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
