if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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