yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
