"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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