Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize