So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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