In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Can Purell be used as lube?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
