I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
