I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize