The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
