He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
