Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
