But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize