Her vagina should come with caution tape.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize