i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
