I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
