You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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