he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
