Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
