Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
