ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
