Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
