Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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