So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
