I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
