if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
