I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
