I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
